Common Question, "WHY ME?"

Everyone has those crappy moments in their life when they think, WHY ME? Often we have those more than once, unfortunately.

Today, I'm going to go into some deep stuff. So be prepared... but it's gonna be awesome. :)

Buckle up everyone.

This is dedicated to the girl's in my life. (But guys- there's lots of things you can learn from today's post as well.) You know that awful feeling when you find out a guy has been leading you on? Or maybe just that pit of despair when a guy you REALLY liked dumps you. Yea, we've pretty much all been there... and I know it sucks. BELIEVE ME, *I* know.

So I've come to answer some of your questions. Not all, but some important ones.

I would like to show you a passage from "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens." Don't get turned away from it by the title- read what I have to say.

 [In a relationship] Set Clear Expectations.

"I think that we should be dating other people," your partner might tell you.

"But I thought we were going together," you might reply.

"Well, not really."

"What about everything you told me about how you feel about me?"

"I didn't really mean it that way."

How often have you seen someone get hurt because another person led them on? Our tendency is to want to flatter and please others, and, as a result, we often set unclear or unrealistic expectations.

To develop trust we need to avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen. 
Jacqueline says, "I had a great time, Jeff. let's be sure to do something again next week!" What she really means is: "I had a good time. Let's just be friends." But since she's created false expectations, Jeff will continue to ask her out and Jacqueline will continue to turn him down saying, "Maybe next week." Everyone would have been better off if Jacqueline had been honest from the get-go.

 A win-lose attitude... [is often seen in the following:] Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes.

If you're trapped in an abusive relationship, you're deep into Lose-Win. Abuse is a never-ending cycle of hurt and reconciliation, hurt and reconciliation. It never gets better. There's no win in it for you whatsoever, and you need to get out. Don't think that somehow that the abuse is your fault or that somehow you deserve to be abused. That's how a doormat thinks. [A doormat is someone who lets people 'walk all over them.] No one deserves to be abused, ever.

Life is a great obstacle course. Each person has their own course, separated from every other course by tall walls. our course comes complete with customized obstacle designed specifically for your personal growth. So what good does it do to climb the wall to see how well your neighbor is doing or to check out his obstacles in comparison to your own? 

"Listen, or thy tongue will make thee deaf."

So guess what? It's NOT your fault girls. Nothing is wrong with you- and you're not the only one going through this. It's hard, but we're here for each other. You know what I do when I'm in a mood like this? I call up my gal friends and we watch a chick flick. Or sometimes I end up watching a chick flick by myself.. either way it can be medicating. But I strongly suggest watching a RomCom. Romantic Comedy.) Also- about the abuse part. Abuse comes in many shapes and forms. I know it may sound like a strong word, but even this example from "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" is abuse:

"Amy, who was the guy you were talking to just now?" asks Doug. [Amy's boyfriend]
"He's just a good friend I grew up with," says Amy.
"I don't want you hangin' out with that guy," rants Doug.
"Doug, he's just a friend I've known for a long time. We went to elementary school together."
"i don't care how long you've known him. You shouldn't be so friendly to him."
"It's no big deal. he's having some problems and just needs a friend."
"Are you committed to me or not?" [***DING DING DING*** the abuse makes its self even more clear.]
"OK, Doug. If that's what you want, I won't talk to him anymore." [Poor choice on Amy's part, if I do say so myself. she should have stood up for herself and her friend a bit more... anyway..]

So raise your spirits high, and live life! Some guys are jerks- and it may seem like a lot of guys are... but there a LOADS of nice guys out there, you just have to look for them. I once saw a 'quote' from some guys: "Ladies, stop asking where all the nice guys are. There right there, where you left them, in the FRIEND ZONE."

I LOVE YOU ALL. Chins up! Be happy! :)