My Life As A Cali-Utahn

2023 was such a crazy year for me, and with the things that I have experienced, learned, and endured during that time — it seems fitting to write some sort of response to it and set out some goals and plans for the upcoming year.  To start us off, here’s a little timeline of my 2023 (and evidence that I started using Canva more this year): 2023 was my first full year of being a mom, my first year of going to school with a kid, and [thus also] my first time ever truly questioning my relationship with God. I had had times in my life where my relationship with God wasn’t ideal. I had had times in my life of making choices that distanced me from God. But never before in my life had I felt as utterly alone and abandoned as I did for nearly the first year of Kate’s life. Being a mom is hard. It’s hard to be needed constantly, it’s hard to lose sleep, for me breastfeeding—something many tote as natural—was HARD, and it’s hard to need to be the one with the answers to help your child—but y...

About two months ago, I was gifted a free Mary Kay facial and make over. This was done so that a Mary Kay director could use the before and after pictures in a look book to show consultants and customers alike. While I have no harsh feelings towards the Mary Kay director I visited, I have learned for myself that Mary Kay is not for me. Most of the products stung my face, while the others made me feel like I was wearing 50 year old dress-up makeup. But this post's focus is not actually Mary Kay. When I agreed to this facial and makeover, I requested to receive copies of the photos so that I could also use them. I thought this was a good way to utilize my time and get some free photos. Today I received the photos.... .... and I hate them. But I love what they don't tell you. This photo doesn't show you that the night before, I had a terrible episode or attack of trichotillomania. It doesn't tell you that I yanked out a large section of my eyelashes and m...

Of all the stories I have ever told, there is one story that I thought I'd never be able to tell. But as I have felt the love of those close to me surround me, I have been able to tell my story to a select few. **Warning: The following content may trigger some readers and may be inappropriate for younger audiences. View discretion advised.** August 29th, 2015. I can still remember what I was wearing. Pink striped tank top, jeans, sandals. My hair was short and curled. My makeup was simple. I had a friend who had gone through an operation and I was visiting him to check up on how he was doing. I didn't expect to be sexually assaulted. I was forced down and held tightly against his mattress as he kissed me and groped me. I struggled to free my hand to move his hands away from my breasts, my butt, my crotch, the zipper of my pants. I was physically forced into having my tongue in his mouth - when I certainly didn't want it there - and felt like I had no control. ...

I have spent this weekend with family and posting about my appreciation for the support they have given me through hard times. I am so lucky to have been placed with these lovely and wonderful folks as my earthly family and I am so grateful that "families can be together forever, through Heavenly Father's plan." So, in light of these appreciation posts - it's time for me to show my appreciation and gratitude to the greatest family member of all: My Father in Heaven.  My Father in Heaven has many names: God, Lord, Creator, The Almighty... but to me the most important of those is Heavenly Father.  He has accomplished much and is a great aid in making sure that *I* accomplish much. He knows everything and is very patient.  When I ask Him a question, He texts right back. I just have to do is open the scriptures to see His reply.  My faith in Heavenly Father’s plan(s) for each of us has been deepened over the past couple weeks and I love Him and His plan – even if...

When I was 16 and attending Mission Middle College for my junior year of high school, I donated my first ever pint of blood at a blood drive. First time donating. As I donated, I was curious about what my blood type was - which you find out a few weeks after your first donation. I joked that I would be okay with being any blood type except O-, since I had learned in middle school that O- could give to anyone (O blood types are universal donors), but could only receive from O-. That kind of scared me. A few weeks later, I got an email from Red Cross (followed shortly by my donor card in the mail)... my blood type had been determined to be O-. I laughed out loud. Seemed like Karma was out to get me. But being O- has turned out to be a blessing rather than a scary curse. I've learned the importance of donating blood and the positive impact I am able to make in other people's lives. During my second donation, I found out that I have been assigned as a priority donor ...

Having just moved to Idaho to attend Brigham Young University - Idaho, I'm realizing that the name of my blog may no longer be quite as accurate as I originally intended. Whatever the matter, it shall stay the same for the time being. It's been a rollercoaster. Friday, September 9th was move in day.  I woke up at 5am, we left at 6:30am, and arrived at Rexburg around 10:45am. Once we got here it was a whirlwind of unloading the car into my apartment, getting my student ID, eating lunch, shopping for some minimal groceries, rushing to orientation, walking all over campus, learning amazing things, unpacking more and meeting roommates, spending time with my boyfriend who I hadn't seen in a month (his nickname is Killian - as in Captain Hook from "Once Upon a Time"), and going to an AWESOME talent show. Good job BYU-Idaho students! That was an impressive show. Saturday, September 10th I slept in a LITTLE and then got ready for the day. Killian and I walked to mee...